The red meat panic reached local butcher Gregory Dragg’s store last night. Thieves broke in through the backdoor and made off with dozens of cuts of red meat. No cash or electronics were taken, only the red meat. The thieves stole everything from prime cuts to select cuts of beef, pork, lamb, and venison. However, the white meats were left untouched.

The outspoken owner, Mr. Dragg, said, “This is a direct result of Mayor Gondola’s careless language causing a panic. The professional thugs target my shop because they hear the boyking mayor say No more red meat. Well, congratulations, now looters and lowlifes have expanded their operations from clothing to eyeglasses, now to red meat, thanks to decades of the soft on crime policies of the Gondola family. It has to end, people aren’t safe, their businesses are no longer safe. Enough is enough. This city won’t survive much longer under the failed policies of the Gondola family.”

CSD estimates that $10,000 worth of meat was taken from Dragg Meat and Dairy. At the time of this report, no suspects have been detained.